One Year of Spooky Pain - Pistols at Dawn Chapter 18
After a one month hiatus, this will mark one year since I have followed this story. Since we are nearly halfway through the saga, I suspect it will take another year until it will be completed. So far, we have endured zero progress in storytelling, even with the support of a current wordcount of 165,219 words.
To sum up said hiatus, the previous chapter revolved around Elysia finding the letters of her dead apprentice, James, and discovering he was suspicious of Mirabeau. It also involved her locking lips with her on-again-off-again anime boyfriend, Orfeo. Finally, it involved the extended cucking of Arno, who managed to 'grow up' in the two years Elysia had him, and him apologizing to her about how he made a mistake. With that insult still stinging, I'll be carrying it over into this chapter, a short update of 5,000 words. It's a reprieve from the usual 35 pages, but expect that to pick up again once regular schedules resume.
Les promises Chapter 19 will be packed full of 'things', so let's get this one out of the way.
The heavy burden that clasped his shoulders has drastically lessened, but Arno knew this wasn’t over. He was going to have major responsibilities to fill in and correct his wrongs; if Elysia had taken the time out of her day to find him, it meant something. The most he could do now was not adding to that pile of hurt and discomfort.
What a way to introduce the chapter! Because as we all know, Arno is the one who 'has to take responsibility' here. Not the woman who led her own apprentices into a death trap and, as Mentor, is responsible for him being irresponsible. Not only has she metaphorically torn off his neck, she's shitting down it, too.
Bellac waited outside while Elysia stood patiently at the doorway of the study. Arno’s eyes laid on the small treasure box he had acquired, stuffing the last coping letters he could find from many years ago; he was surprised they were kept in mint condition, or the very least ignored when the manor went under. He knew it wasn’t all of them, the rest lost in the ghostly house.
In this context Arno never inquired after the death of de la Serre or visited the house to make sure it wasn't looted because Elysia received the most attention. There is no actual character development of Arno, so he does all these silly things because Les doesn't know how to write him.
2020 didn't give Les time to improve upon her own writing skills, I see.
“Don’t take too long, we have a trip back and you know how cranky Bellac gets,” she quipped before heading downstairs. Arno responded with a small smile. Though, his chocolate orbs glided up, and met the portrait of a specific redhead hung behind him.
It's now proven Arno has hazel eyes, not brown, but I'll let this minor thing slide. However, there is one thing Les is sticking to despite the 'Lore Down Pat' and you'll see it in the next paragraph:
His step-sister.
Élise was powerfully beautiful; her mother’s emerald eyes and garnet-red locks that curled softly like roses made her attractive to many suitors, but it was her father’s keen senses that made her unattainable. A sharp tongue masked within proper mannerisms confused those who tried to take advantage of her when she already planned out their moves eight spaces before. Arno respected her, her wishes and desires to be something more than a permanent housewife of sorts if she were to ever marry (if she ever planned to still); truly it would be a shame to see Élise not….be Élise.
In this story, Les has decided to stick with Élise being Arno's 'step sister', even though they are not related at all and only grew up together. Élise has made next to no appearances in this story despite being the leader of the Parisian Templars, and I suspect this has to do with her being in competition with a fellow redhead named Elysia. Hell, their names are even similar.
But that already happened….when de la Serre died. The sister he grew up altered, and any trust she had evaporated like a snapping finger. A ringing that still echoed and lingered, but nowhere close for Arno to pinpoint its direction. To be able to make amends.
We're already in 1791 by now, so Arno and Élise should have already reconciled. She knew Arno was not responsible for her father's death, and agreed to work with him to find the real killers.
“…Oh Élise….”
Yet, his happiness faltered when the silence set in.
“Where are you now, sister?”
The only reason he's not in love with her in this story is because Les wants him to bottom for one of her random male OCs. Screw the redhead, she's taking centre stage away from your proud Woman of Colour!
Élise gave a secure look around, and seated herself on a stone bench that was provided. Her hands rested on her thighs, curled and ready to strike if someone were to get too close. Then, one man did.
Ah, so Élise does make an appearance in this story! I was beginning to think she was forgotten, just like Aveline was!
Élise left it at that, “What news do you have of my father’s coup?”
"We know the man responsible for it." Lafrenière answered with a swift stroke of his beard. "It was Thomas Germain, coming for revenge against his expulsion from our Order. He had recruited countless others, promising them a place within the new regime and disposing others who continued to support your father."
Since I've read the Unity book version by Thomas Bowden, this dialogue does more or less seem lifted from the book, but it's been a year since I read it so I can't vouch for it at the moment. In any case, this should have factored in around 100,000 words ago, since a coup is no laughing matter. Élise is a major character, not Elysia, and so should have a larger part. Sadly, she doesn't know Shay and a band of anime villains zerg rushed the coup members.
“Yes, I’m aware,” Élise answered with a strained exhale, “We had intel explaining they were setting up a gathering at the Hôtel de Beauvais. You informed me you would be sending a team there.”
"We were compromised," her mentor countered with a frown, "One of my men had been selling information to Germain's…and…."
Weren't you supposed to be incognito yourself? Lafrenière was known to support de la Serre but he kept himself on the downlow. Germain didn't kill him outright because of his support among other Templars.
“Were we discovered??” Élise met his look, brows furrowed, “Were there not enough reinforcements? Did they figure our plan?”
"No. My sources told me Germain is dead, along with all of his conspirators."
Élise’s chest held, “…Dead??” A mixed shock of relief and bewilderment swept across her face, “Are you sure??”
Yeah, man. His name was Shay Patrick Cormac and he didn't send you a love letter.
Even thinking back on the Templar killings I have to laugh. What a way to go out! Predictable and...so Kingdom Hearts tier.
"I've sent my men to scout the area but what I was informed is true."
She stilled for a moment, “Was it the Assassins?”
“…I do not know.”
“Then…that’s it?”
Now, if I remember right, didn't Shay talk to his fellow Evil Overlords and Ladies that he wanted to speak with her? After all, she is the true heir to the Rite and if he wants to commit to some sort of peace he needs to speak with her. Why doesn't Lafrenière know he was in the city? Did he manage to slip under the radars of both Assassins and Templars?
Damn, the guy really is that good.
“My father’s murderers have been dealt with,” she stood up at this, gesturing to her mentor with an urgent hand, “We no longer have to fight to keep the Order! What are we waiting for?”
"It cannot be as simple as you make it out to be." Lafrenière countered with slight warning. "What makes you think that those who managed to kill Germain will not target you next? We do not know their motives, who they are--we need more information."
“….Ahh, you’re right. I’m getting ahead of myself,” she crossed her arms, meeting Lafrenière’s gaze again, “Then, our next priority should be figuring out who they are…and whether they’re friend or foe.”
Oh, you're gonna find out that they're foes alright. With brightly coloured hair, multi coloured eyes, and long monologues explaining their evil plans.
“Precisely. If they are within our Order…hopefully they can be reasoned with. If they’re an Assassin…I fear there is no hope with those beasts.”
Lafrenière was the only Templar that actually supported de la Serre's wishes for a truce among the Assassins. With him gone, Germain was free to do as he pleased - well, not in this Lore Down Pat story he isn't. He's just a sack of bones.
“Then we’ll have to see,” she ignored the pulsing headache on the top of her head. “Thank you for meeting with me.”
He bowed his head, “Whatever it is you need, I will offer what I can. May the Father of Understanding guide you.”
Yeah, we really do need to see whether we'll actually see progress in 50,000 words or less. It took 160,000 words just for Élise to enter the plot. Amazing.
She pointed the gun straight ahead, and caught sight of the unknown man sitting in the chair. His feet were kicked up on the table, not even bothering to be unfazed of his relaxed posture when she fully entered the room in languid, cautious strides. His bright sky eyes hardly trailed away from his pocket-sized notebook and met Élise with such curious grandeur. He had a crooked smile and dirty-blond locks to lighten his already pale-pink skin.
Is this Assassin's Creed, or Yuri on Ice with Mettaon X from Undertale here?
'Pale pink skin'? Is he a Ditto?
“Who are you??” she curtly demanded, taking aim and holding her finger on the mechanism.
He smacked his lips dismissively, turning the page of his notebook, “You sure are quick to grab the trigger, but slow to actually pull it.” She didn’t budge. This made him sigh, “Please lower the gun. I’m here representing my benefactor.”
Mr. Anime Blonde is going to be a pain in my ass, I know it.
“If your benefactor wanted to make a deal, they should’ve come themselves,” she clarified. “I could send a message right back.”
“There won’t be much of a message left if I’m lying with a bullet through my chest in the gutter of these god-awful streets. However-“ he lifted a finger up at this, casually flicked it to signal her to lower her offense, “-we’ve already sent a clear message to you and your Order here in Paris.”
The 'message' happened to be a hamfisted zerg rush where characters - even if they were not giving proper character development in game - still had a purpose. Eliminating all of them in one fell swoop without giving the audience time to understand them and develop a proper response isn't how you do it. But Yuri on Ice here is going to be the MacGuffin to end all MacGuffins.
“….Hmph,” she lowered her arm, giving the man a good overlook before fully committing to disarming herself. “You’re the lot who took care of Germain.”
“We are!” The cheery man stood up from his seat, alerting her to step back. He was unbothered of her jolt, and merely strolled to the one window of the apartment, “Though I personally shouldn’t take any credit in it, I don’t like getting my hands dirty.” He strained a disgusted smile, and tucked his notebook in the back pocket of his pants.
If this guy happens to be the one who shags Arno I need I'm going to get a permit for a shotgun. This is absolutely fucking terrible. Who thought this was a good idea? Who is this guy?
Three people wrote this story. Three.
She probed further, “Then who was?”
He didn’t waste time to reply, “Shay Cormac, and he sends his regard in a form of an invitation.” At this did he stroke his soft fuzz of a beard, flicking something off from the tip of his finger.
Shay Patrick Cormac?
Yes, the same guy who managed to wander through Paris for months without anybody picking up on who he was. He's a high ranking member of the American Rite; there is no way the Parisian Rite wouldn't have known he was there. They have spies everywhere.
“And your name?”
He gave a hard look, despite the smile.
“In case I were to get lost.”
He complied, “My name is Vinny.” He wasn’t French, clearly. “Also, I’d double check your door for next time.”
Obviously. He likely doesn't belong to any ethnicity on Earth, and comes from another realm where overpowered anime characters come to life. He could have said his name was 'Vincent' and it would've worked. 'Vinny' is short for Vincent anyway, so why not use it?
Good to see even Élise's intelligence is dumbed down for this story. She was already attacked once in her home - if Les had read the book she'd know this - and one of her lovers was strangled with a garrote cord. She also strangled a guy with her thighs in that book. Here, random anime guy tells her to be more careful of her surroundings.
Excuse you, bitch.
“….Thanks for the tip.” She moved a bit to the side to allow him passage. He waved back without a second look, and closed the door for her. After a moment did she remove her glare and to the letter he had rested there. She cut the bottom of it, checking to see if it were poisoned along the seal. It wasn’t. She took the letter out while holding the bottom corner of it.
She had a bad feeling about this.
Exactly what I feel about this story, girl. We've got a long way to go.
Freshly trimmed hedges encircled the clean patches of grass where several individuals laid and sat. The lit lampposts coated the corners to give an iridescent, yellow coating along quarter; undisturbed blooms of flowers tucked in large, stone vases ornamented the plain pavement. It was serene despite the vast number of adult students of various ages lurking about.
If Les had done proper research, she'd know that by 1791 things were getting scarce in Paris. Hedges weren't trimmed, and people were starting to lose the revolutionary vigour and joy of 1789. We are two years away from the Committee of Public Safety and we haven't see any of the revolutionary icons here like Robespierre, Danton, Desmoulins, Laclos or Lafayette. Where are they? We have seen Dumas, but he likely won't return until another 50,000 words have passed. If you're writing an Assassin's Creed story, where are the historical characters?
She didn’t have to ruminate much in her thoughts-
“You made it.” She looked to her left to see the same man from her discovered apartment.
“Are you surprised?” she asked, arching her small brow.
"I would expect nothing less than the heir of the Parisian Templar Order..." He gestured his arm behind, "If you'd so kindly follow me, I can take you to our intended destination. Mr. Cormac had business with a fellow who happened to be stopping in from America."
I am very glad Élise is hearing about this for the first time, and not the two years Shay was lounging around in Paris. Everybody is nerfed in this story and it's getting irksome.
He led her down the stone path, skirting past the gentlemen who gallantly spoke of expeditions to the cape of Africa, bringing back artifacts that Élise had small doubts were obtained by legal means. Still, she kept to herself, following after the copious man. They strode inside the left wing of the campus, and into the crimson-rugged lobby where again, some students lingered for a small conversation. Her hand kept close to her hip as they ascended to the second floor decorated in lavish, oil paintings depicting Bible verses or depictions of triumphant stories.
Let me guess: it's ivory or gold. We're still a century away from the Scramble for Africa, so at that part the 'looting' was also done in part by African warlords trading gold and slaves for cows and gunpowder. What I find curious is that she is concerned about African culture being looted, but not her own.
They approached the last door of a corridor, Élise checking the back to see if they had been followed. Having Assassins and Templars alike trying to have your head on a platter might’ve added some paranoia to her for the past couple of years.
Not when Yuri on Ice guy managed to make his way to your house, unlock the door, and write in a notebook while you were sitting outside. Ticking off all those dumbass boxes, eh?
The door slammed a bit harder than Élise imagined the guest had intended. Vinny gripped to the wall to escape the vast swing, and straightened himself up with a crossed mumble. An older gentleman came out, chuckling vigorously and fixed his glasses.
"It's been a pleasure to see you, old friend! We really should stop meeting here in Paris when I could treat you to a drink back in Pennsylvania." The guest, Élise speculated.
Which left-
"You might have to hold off the ale, Franklin...but I might take you up on the offer when I finish business here." Élise gave a curt look to the man. Dark hair, a scar that held history. And a smile polite enough to fool someone ordinary.
If this is Benjamin Franklin - and I'm absolutely sure it is - Les continues to prove she has done zero, and I mean zero, research. Benjamin Franklin died April 17th, 1790, in Pennsylvania. He was obese in his older years and suffered from gout. He would not have been healthy enough to make the trek to France at this time. He was still in decent health when Shay assassinated Charles Dorian, but after that, he was rarely seen in public.
Shay shifted comfortably in his seat, "I have no desire of taking your birthright from you, of what had been stolen of you. So take this as a token of goodwill.”
“He’s….he really is dead, isn’t he?” she raised her eyes, realizing that Shay had not looked away from the fire still. “Germain, the Templar coup is destroyed?”
"Yes, all his main conspirators dead with him."
What a way to get rid of a major problem! No build-up, no character development, just add in an Irish supersoldier with a Stinger-like sniper rifle and all of your problems will be solved! Man, I'm shedding a tear right now.
“I’ve heard stories,” Élise rested her hands down, her back straight again, “You are infamous; an Assassin turned rogue, and overtook the Colonies all in the name of the Templar Order. You single handedly revolutionized our cause--there's not a Templar who doesn't know of your accomplishments."
"The flattery comes with well intention, but it's not necessary." Shay humbly admitted with a wave of his hand, "I know what I've done and what I had to do to get here..."
I'm glad Élise - seriously, why is her name italicized? - knows exactly who Shay Cormac is, but the Assassin Brotherhood doesn't. Elysia, who has been a Mentor for years, didn't have a clue as to who he was, and refused to consider him an issue. Only Bellec was the voice of reason here, and his concerns were dismissed because Reasons.
“Then….my question is: why Paris?” her lips pressed at this. “What does France offer you? From your previous guest, you’ve clearly been here before.”
When he killed Arno’s father.
She was only told once.
And that’s all she needed to know.
She knows Charles was murdered by Shay, and she knew her father kept it a secret from Arno so as not to endanger him. Élise would understand the necessity. In regards to Elysia, she was going to hold it from him out of spite, because she always considered him a dumb animal who had no reason to be among the Assassins (which is peak hypocrisy coming from her).
"I have...many years ago." Shay scratched at his chin, "But it is a personal agenda that brings me here....a promise I had made to old acquaintance."
“And what part do I play in this?” Élise held her ground. “I’m not a simpleton, Mr. Cormac.”
You are in this story, like it or not, because you aren't the main character. Magic Woman of Colour is.
"I didn’t expect you to be." He met her gaze finally, and how dark his eyes really were when he looked straight ahead. Like she were prey. "All I ask is for your cooperation. I'm searching for a Piece of Eden I believe is hidden here in Paris and in the country side..." He unfurled parchments from his coat, displaying them for her proper view on the table. She didn’t dare pick them up, only read from afar. "Germain had made quick work to cover his tracks...he intended to use something that might have endangered thousands of lives. He may be dead, but I have a feeling he put his plan to motion beforehand."
Maybe Shay knows this, maybe he doesn't...but Germain was a Sage. If you want to wield the full power of a Piece of Eden, you need a Sage to do it - and for some of them, like the Observatory, you needed a Sage to open it in the first place. Certain gifted individuals may be able to do it without Sage blood, but it's a given that Sages are the 'secret keys' so to speak.
Unlike the PoE that was hidden under Portugal, the Sword of Eden doesn't cause earthquakes, and if Shay knew it was going to remain in Templar hands vs Assassin ones there wouldn't be much concern. The fact he killed a Sage without thinking twice shows he's even more impulsive than normal. The Apple that is hidden in St. Denis is just that - hidden, and Condorcet and Napoleon want to go after it. Is Shay going to threaten the future Emperor of the French now?
“A Piece of Eden in Paris?” she pondered for a moment. “The only rumor of any Piece of Eden in Paris is the Sword of Eden, thought to be stored in secret and once held by the Grand Master, Jacques de Molay.”
"I’ve read there is another; one left behind after the death of Joan de Arc."
“….What proof do you have that such a thing exists?” her neck turned cold at this. “What makes you so sure it is here, stored away?”
What was that about you not being a simpleton? Look, I get you were filled with determination to avenge your father's death, but the Templar hunt for Pieces of Eden was a common thing, yeah?
"You admitted yourself you believe of Jaques de Molay and this...Sword of Eden he possessed." Shay sat straight and proper, "There's always a legend, a story that people pass down to one another. Some may seem taller than others...but they all derive from a truth of some kind. One of my sources have led me to believe something foul is coming to Paris and I want to get to the bottom of it before catastrophe strikes."
...he just so happened to be the founder of the modern Templar Order, no biggie, you know what I mean?
She firmly countered back with a straight look, “I will be frank with you, Mr. Cormac: while I thank you for ridding of Germain and his followers, the Pieces of Eden do not interest me. I have a Templar Order to uphold.” She stood up at this, “The only visible threat I see is the Assassin Brotherhood trying to dismantle the country within it’s very core. And I will stop that.”
Fair enough. He's not the leader of the Templar Order here. Haytham would reach a compromise - he'd allow Elise to maintain control of the Order and he can go treasure hunting. If she didn't get in his way, who cares?
Shay said nothing at this, and only then did Élise notice that Vinny had stopped occupying himself with rest of his grapes. His eyes had glided over to Shay whose eyes had met the fire again, and this hard look grappled his refined, older features. Élise held her ground, her heart locked in her throat when Shay’s neck craned, and his eyes rose up to meet hers. Not once moving, or adjusting himself, like he was made out of pure stone.
Let me guess. Shay is going to threaten Élise and potentially kill her. What a twist!
“Do you wish to rid of the Assassins? Do they stand in your vision of the future?” He pushed, resting his hands behind his straight back, “I can aid you in that.”
She didn’t waste a moment, “That’s not necessary.”
His eyes glittered dangerously, “Not many refuse my aid; in the coming days you’ll see what I’m capable of.”
I guess Shay doesn't know that de la Serre and Mirabeau wanted a truce during the Revolution? Both were at risk during the upheaval. In times like this, truces are potentially life saving. There was no such thing among the American Rite, so how come Shay is acting like this?
Élise held firm, “I have things under control.”
“Yet you weren’t able to locate Germain for the past two years, and I eliminated him within a day,” his tongue held a soft edge, but no mockery.
She still felt the insulting sting in her throat.
I hate to say it, but...Shay is right here. Although the reasons for him eliminating Germain are foggy at best, and blow a crater sized plot hole at worst, truth is truth.
“I got a message yesterday after our meeting,” she’d rather not mention her apartment was broken into, “and I met with the sender, who was the Rogue Assassin from America.”
"Shay Cormac?" The man straightened attentively, "He's here in Paris?"
Nah he's just been lounging around in the country for two years and you never noticed. Quelle surprise.
“Evidently, yes,” she tiredly sighed. “He took down Germain and the coup. I don’t think he lied to me.”
Lafrenière remained stagnant on the news, his eyes scanning the ground in front of him and hands grasping his robes, "It is worse than I have feared..."
Ah yes, the 'It is worse than I feared' cliché, but for once, it actually has meaning: this story and everything in it is worse than I feared.
"What is?"
"I've reached out to the others in our Order and they have not returned favorably. Those that were against us are still, if not even more angered by this blatant act of what they deem is revenge. Our allies are split. Many rejoice Germain's death; others worry that you have scooped so low as to resort to asking for help. If word continues to spread that Shay is in Paris, there is without a doubt in my mind that they will connect his presence here with your reclaim of your father's position as Grand Master."
What a twist! The people who followed Germain are now confused and angry that he's dead, and those who rejoice at his death refuse to follow Elise! It looks like the Parisian Rite is, how shall we say, smashed like a trailer park hooker?
Elise didn't ask for help, that's the point. Shay came to Paris, alone and uninvited, and wiped out the side of the Rite that was plotting against her in a single day. Who else is left? What do they have left to lose? If they're going to appoint someone else that's going to lead us straight back to square one with Germain 2.0.
Shay is one of the most infamous members of the Templar Rite. Why should any Templar feel he's usurping another? He absolutely didn't do it to Haytham. Why would he do it here?
The impatience held her firm, “Then what are we to do? Clearly, I didn’t ask for him to be here; he offered aid but I refused it. Is that not enough to show I want to take responsibility in my own hands? Why must all these old men hold more power over me when I have done nothing but sworn my allegiance to the Order, and you know that??”
Is this a dig at sexism? If so, it's not a good one. She is the last living de la Serre member, and she's the only one keeping the Order afloat. Germain is dead, and those against her know Shay eliminated her rival. Our of pure fear they'd obey her. But that's using logic.
“I don’t think the Assassins are…in any way capable of using this as some sort of gain.”
One of their mentors doesn't even know who Shay is. I think you're preaching to the choir here.
Where is Arno?
You disowned him, remember?
Yet, he hadn’t.
This wasn’t adding up.
Everything she was taught was not adding up.
It's taken you 165,000 words to get to a single point, damn right nothing is adding up! You've brought Ben Franklin back from the dead, you plan to fridge Elise, and you continue to cuck Arno in his own story. I cannot imagine what Chapter 19 is going to be like, but it's going to be a massive, steaming, floating pile of shit that could've sunk the Titanic.
This was wrong, this was all wrong.
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