Pain in the Month of Freedom - Pistols at Dawn Chapter 15

In last month's update, Shay made his appearance with blown out walls and a grenade launcher. He made his stunning entrance after killing all the titular antagonists, leaving no Templar alive but him. How this will affect the Templar Order, I can't say yet - but Élise will be fridged as much as Arno. You can count on that.

How long has it been?

Since you’ve been yourself?

Try: 'Never, because I am a ferociously unlikable character and a Mary Sue'. 

Soft touches.

A large palm brushed it back, and how I remembered it like it was only yesterday.

“Are you smitten with me, Elysia?”

My eyes flickered, and the curls of my fingers could sense him….but they couldn’t reach his warmth. 

I cannot stop thinking about how quick Elysia turns into a puddle when a man who doesn't take her bullshit starts being nice to her. It's always the same with this 'Don't touch me or I'll break your face' 'I can do anything' female characters. It's not character development. It's amusing as Hell, though - especially since Les is a lesbian. 

“Should I tell you how I truly feel?”

How innocent he looked…..and how I wanted to corrupt every trace of it with my entire being.

“If you go to sleep….”

His mouth hovered, and the smoke that rushed out of his robust lungs sunk deep-

“You’re never going to see me ever again-“

Honestly, I'd rather have Orfeo being the main character at this point. He's at least interesting and somewhat relatable, although I don't think any of the co-authors remember how he and Elysia stole grain from the poor so he could make a quick buck at his café. 

Humans are so predictable.

So sayeth the woman who didn't know who Shay Cormac was and never bothered to learn about the Brotherhood's history in the many years she served as Mentor. There really is no excuse for this level of incompetence, but hey. We're 'fixing the plot.' 

“What happened?” I acridly interrogated, then looked to Quemar’s injured limb that I was unashamed to behold. Quemar battled my look, but there was nothing he could do to sway my locked gaze.  

“Shay was…..aware of our play,” Mirabeau tentatively revealed, resting his hands behind his back and making an effort to stand beside Quemar just enough to make me look at him properly. “Master Beylier and Master Quemar were overwhelmed during their approach, and had to retreat their advance.” The entire room fell silent, except the sound of shifting bodies, hurrying steps and pained groans muffled outside.

You could have avoided this entire had you used a thing called 'intelligence' and things called 'spies'. Shay was in Paris for weeks and no one knew. You underwent useless assignments while he was gathering strength. The decision of the Mentors to send their weakest against a man known for upending an entire Order and nearly rendering it extinct is open suicide. 

Since no one here has an ounce of common sense, it's up to Elysia to be the prime interrogator and for her to be the only one right in a room where experts made foolish mistakes. 

A red atmosphere floated around the Mentors, though I could tell Bellac was struggling to say something (which could only mean he already brought up his concern before). His arms were firmly crossed on his chest, his eyes locked to the side wall. Beylier’s shoulders were stiff and straight, and Sophie stood silently beside me, unable to face Mirabeau’s direction.

Yes, you should've listened to Bellec. He was the one who escaped the American Colonial purge; he should've been consulted first. He was not. Not even the Mary Sue who can figuratively use hidden demons within her was used to fight this assault. What was she doing? Having wet dreams. Amazing how she's a Mentor. 

Quemar thumbed at his forearm, a sigh escaping as he extended a leg out, “Mirabeau…..I-“

“It was you, wasn’t it?” Eyes lifted to me as I glared to Quemar, “You pushed the advancement.” And the glass room shattered.

"I had reason to believe that we could challenge his stance." Quemar struck back, pointing at me sharply with his uninjured hand, "Shay was planning on meeting with other French Templars of Paris, I would not allow him the chance if I could."

I'm not going to stop saying this: but going solo against a man who - again - nearly rendered extinct the entire American Assassin branch is not a guy you fuck with. I have no idea why these people are so fucking stupid, but hey, we're 'Fixing the Plot'. I am gobsmacked at how this plot is turning out. We are nearly at 150,000 words and nothing has happened.

“And you sacrificed your whole team for it?” I raised my tone. “Because that’s what I saw outside.”

"You have no right to lecture me on this." Quemar glowered ferociously, debating whether he should actually stand from how far he was leaning forward in his chair, "They knew exactly what they were getting themselves into. It was for the good of our Order."

I couldn’t control my tongue, “Then you should’ve died with them, it would’ve only been fair.“ 

Elysia has no room to talk. She never sacrificed herself for her team at all. Look at how she treats her newest member, Arno: she didn't even consider him human and tried to murder him when he called out her failure to manage the Café. Need I say this for the umpteenth time - she had no idea who Shay Cormac was? 

Quemar isn't even in a state to lead. Why on Earth would he send Assassin recruits against Shay? He killed them for no reason at all. This sacrifice achieved nothing.

I am still calling it now: Arno and James are going to be raped by Shay, or by an associate of his. If not, I'll be surprised - for the time being.

“Enough!” Sophie cut in, signaling Quemar to sit properly as she then shot a stare at me, “This is not the time to bicker! Shay is still out there, and we need to come up with a plan to figure out his next move.”

Should've done that before you sent them into the gauntlet. Genius move.  

"His next move??" Bellac retorted, shooting his hand out next and standing on my other side, "We have God knows how many Assassins dead and you expect to move after him now?!"

Dammit, why is Bellec always the reasonable one? And yet you expect me to hate him? 

“What other choice do we have?!” Sophie retorted, her gloved hand striking to the side toward the open doorway behind us, “To send another group of students to their deaths? This should be a Master matter, and if Mirabeau allows it, then I will volunteer to-“

 1. You shouldn't have done that in the first place.

2. This is all on your dumbass actions.

3. What did you think was going to happen, going up against Shay Cormac?

“No, Sophie,” Beylier quickly stepped forward, and I could swear I caught a little swagger in his step from a small injury on one of his legs, “It’s a suicide mission!”

Sophie curtly stepped aside as she faced the door, her back to us. “We cannot risk anymore students-“

You're all idiots and I hate you. 

“And we cannot risk a Master; I forbid it, Master Trenet,” Mirabeau retorted, frowning as he halted her in place by the sheer plead in his professional tone. "Be at peace my fellow Masters, despite what grievances have occurred: I cannot afford for any of you to be cut down by Shay’s blade. We all have a responsibility for those that remain; they can't afford to go out without our guidance. So I ask you to reconsider, Masters, to stay here and do not engage our foe."

 Mon Dieu. You should have prepared for this as soon as Shay entered the goddamn country. 

“What are you doing?” I moved my arm, and Bellac was quicker to remove his grip once we were out of earshot.

And I didn’t like how he asked me this, “Have you seen Arno?”

My chest held, “Why are you asking me that? You have him today.”

"I haven’t seen him since yesterday, and he's been acting strange that one." Bellac scowled, crossing his arms firmly, "He started getting really bold with me, especially with taking a mission I had prior. I left him in the Library to finish the reports--"

 Bellec went from praising Arno to seeing him as a useless piece of shit. Shouldn't his boldness and sarcasm be a good sign that he's not easily manipulated? That he's willing to do what he's told?

Bellac paused at the very word, and his eyes searched. And they froze.

“What is it?” I grabbed his shoulder, and shook him once, “WHAT.”

He’s met a terrible fate, hasn’t he?

And every form of panic hitched onto my shoulders, the icy weight of dread budding and warping within the cavity of my chest. The definite realization of this boy’s tragedy, and the endgame it would lead him to. And how it led him to his doom very, very prematurely.

A very terrible, terrible fate.

Oh, so NOW you care about Arno and the rest. Very, very kind of you Elysia. Never thought you had it in you. This is a very sudden change from the woman ready to snap his neck for the crime of telling you you did something wrong.

“Goddamn, Bellac,” I spewed a flame, and hurried down the steps. Bellac didn’t waste time, and two of us sprinted through the mass of rushing Assassins, the sniffles and hushed, hurt whispers flooding the hall. “You let him go on his own, you fed him a fucking breadcrumb and gave him a trail!”

"Don't point all the blame at me! He could’ve easily learned something from you that spurned it on." Bellac argued, but shook his head and panted steadily beside me, "What matters is we find the boy and find out what the hell he's been doing."

“Then keep up.”

And naturally, Elysia takes all that concern back and blames Arno for getting into trouble. Bravo! Really showing the care you have for your underlings and how dissimilar you are from the Mentors from sending them into suicide traps! Oh, wait, what's this? You were ready to have them all mowed down in a Church two chapters previously as a 'lesson'? Character development!

There’s no point.

The only place he would go

You’re too late.

is a place where he would feel somewhat home

Let fate play itself out.

"I am going to condemn the Mentors for willingly allowing their students to die, but I'm also going to let one of my students die because that's just how fate works out."

Oh, joy.

“Elysia?!” Charlotte called out, but I was already outside. Weighing the options. Thinking.

Terrified.

You're not terrified because Arno is in danger. You're terrified because you've lost control.  

Arno was never afraid of most things. Most of the time, his wit and sarcasm could let him bypass almost any kind of bad situation, whether it be his fault, Élise’s or a mixture of both. Always two or three steps ahead, whether or not it was premeditated or conjured on the spot. Arno was good at that.

This is one of the few times I have ever seen Arno's in character self be mentioned here. The other times he's been reduced to a weepy, cuckold mess.  

“Run!”

His body followed. James’ foot kicked down the door to their left-

“Keep your head LOW!” James’ had to yell over the blasting sound of the rifle; the second wall keeping them safe cracked underneath the intended BOOM. It hardly lasted when the third shot rung free, exposing them to the Irishman as James yanked Arno to the next room.

Man, the calibre of Shay's gun really has to be top-notch if it's blasting plaster, wood and paint everywhere. Even when it came to shooting Mary the Elephant, it took a small regiment of men behind a wall and numerous rounds of gunfire to bring her down. Maybe they should've hired Shay and his grenade sniper rifle launcher. 

The entire room was engulfed in a thick, invasive smoke; Arno felt the back of his neck gripped, the scruff of his robes alone nearly choking him from how harsh James’ clasp was. His older peer propelled them forward, and abruptly Arno was running along a wooden beam, keeping his balance-

Both Arno and Shay have Eagle Vision. How come both aren't using it?

“GRAB ON!” James commanded, and Arno’s hands and arms latched onto the wooden construction they had been eying prior. One harsh pull and Arno was properly on one of the platforms, shooting his head back-

“Oh fuc-“ he couldn’t even finish the sentence when he saw Shay saunter himself to the edge of the gap, his lower face shielded with the same, black fabric that was around his neck to be somewhat immune to James’ smoky retaliation. And he didn’t waste time, swinging the rifle upwards, and clasping the neck of it onto his free grip. He took aim-

Both of them can freerun. Why can't Arno remember that integral part of his training?

The Dorian kicked at the two lanterns that had been set on the platform, sending one soaring into Shay’s direction, while the other-

BOOM!!

-had been accidently launched to the gunpower barrels below. The entire building shook from the impact enough that Shay missed his mark, and shot above Arno’s head.

Yeah, no. You're both dead. This is how you level a building. Has any author here ever seen a demolition? Like, never? Because lighting up gunpowder isn't a smart idea in a confined space where you are guaranteed to be blown to pieces.  

"This is no time for jokes," James shot him a stare that made Arno freeze, especially with the deep furrow in his brows, “We’ll die if we stay in here. It’s my job to protect you, do you understand??”

Arno battled his words, and he was uncertain of why he was hesitating to answer back, “I-I understand.”

James urged him to continue the climb, eying the figure that seamlessly fused with the smoke only to reappear from another angle to take aim at them. Whether be it by the platforms or by range which he could target them, Shay pursued them without fault.

Let me guess: they're in love.

I'm also glad that Shay, who's in his 60's at this point, is immune to black smoke, toxic chemicals in paint like mercury and lead with is now in the air he is breathing, and oh, gunpowder explosions. That Isu DNA is LIT. 

Arno tossed various firework bombs, the rifle jerking upward and missing James’ back. The fumes imploded by the added flare, hues of red, greens and oranges sparking every shadow and crevice that Shay might have been hiding in next. Arno kneeled to the edge of the scaffold, reaching his hand out to his companion when he saw the tower tilting and heard the excessive screeching that echoed along with it.

I'm sure that's going to help through black smoke and flammable material. 200 IQ, man.

What the FUCK.

My eyes shot to the rising smoke, the blasting sounds of agitated ash and gun powder polluting the bright blue sky. This drove the pedestrians to the chaotic scene, many screaming and pointing to the engulfed structure.  

Closer inspection-

I remember this location: it's where you go to destroy Lafreniere (sic) cache of gunpowder. That building is mostly made of stone and wood, and is generally open air once the windows are blown out. It also faces a busy street. So this massive explosion is sending mortar and stone everywhere, killing civilians. Brilliant.

“Oh my god,” the heavy sea in my lungs plunged the rest of my body into soaking trepidation, my feet acting on their own accord as they raced across the rooftop, and stared at the dismantled building. My eyes combed, intently, intensely among the shouting and moving bodies of civilians, trying to find James, and the goddamn Dorian who possibly dragged him here.

This is one of the many reasons why Elysia is such an awful character: she cares about no one but herself, yet she disparages others for having no care for those beneath them. Consider how she feels 'terror' at her students in danger, yet also blames Arno for putting himself and James into such a situation. She immediately sees him as the source for all the misfortune going on in her life and refuses to listen to his side of the story.

She cannot see him as a functioning human being, and I can't see her as one, either.

They met a terrible fate.

They met a terrible fate.

No, it wasn’t possible.

That couldn’t happen.

Where is James?

 See? Look how fast Elysia dumped Arno in favour of her personal student James. She cares more about him than the 'goddamned Dorian'. Remember: she's a Mentor. Who also doesn't know who Shay Cormac is.

I hissed, catching sight of two, hooded bodies climbing down a section of the building’s backside, James limping in Arno’s grasp as they both kept a steady pace. I climbed down inhumanely swift in the shadow of the alleyway, and sprinted over to aid James’ other side. He was bleeding on his leg, a fractured muscle or bone, but no serious damage. His cheeks were scratched up, along with Arno who had a sprained arm.

“What the HELL were you two thinking!?” I couldn’t stop myself, hooking James’ free arm over my shoulder.

Arno let go, and kept pace on his other side, “Long story short-“

“YOU BROUGHT HIM HERE, DIDN’T YOU?” I shot a glare over, halting Arno in his tracks. We came to a stop near a closed café’s front, several citizens converging to the streets now to watch the building starting to collapse on itself. “You ignored Bellac’s orders and brought James to a mess you couldn’t stay out of!”

What. A. Bitch. Yes, trash your own student who saved another student of yours. Disparage him for going out of his way to help him against Shay Cormac, a man you didn't even know. Holy fuck do I hate this character. 

Arno was quick to defend himself, his dirty cheeks slightly turning pink from how flushed he had gotten, “This was important! I had to ask James to come along. There's a dangerous man on the loose--he killed de la Serre's murderers!" Arno insisted, throwing his hands, "He nearly killed us!"

James suddenly grunted, and nodded as he shared a glance to me, his eyes soft, "While this probably doesn't justify his means, Arno is right.” He sat at a nearby barrel at this, resting a hand at the center of his chest, coughing harshly once, “That man is a threat to Paris.” They ran into Shay.

“This will be resolved when we get back,” I cut in, sighing heavily as I felt the heavy burden ride down my back. “Your leg is injured. We have to take a look. Can you walk?”

“Yes…I’ll be just fine,” James smiled, despite the cuts along his face, and the way he turned to face Arno. “If anything, I have Arno to…”

Elysia won't even hear a lick of praise about Arno. But I do have to ask: why is Arno only concerned about de la Serre at this moment when he happened to watch the entire Parisian Templar Order get knocked over like bowling pins? No mention of that?

No, I don't think the Mary Sue would care even if he said anything. 

James shouted, and his arms flung out, to shield the oblivious young man that he had went with without a thought, who asked for something James couldn’t give without consequence.

But how James did it anyways.

 CRACK

 

And the shining, silver bullet hit his back.

Oh no! Not...that guy!

AAAAGGGGGHAHAHAHAHHGHGHHHAAAAGGAGGAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!

The voices SCREAMED.

My body jerked once.

I'm cringing at this as I read. Like drawing my teeth across a piece of sheet metal. 

“You’re so stupid!” Arno argued immediately, and gripped the front of his shirt, “This is…this is all my fault….this is all my fault….” As he buried his face into James’ front, “No no no no…not again-“

You barely knew the guy. Don't shed tears for him. And it's not like Elysia is going to forgive you anyways. 

"You told me you have someone to protect..." James uttered for only Arno to hear, pressing a hand to his shoulder, and giving it a soft squeeze, "There's going to be people worth protecting that'll need someone like you. So protect her, protect your allies, protect the citizens of France...like I did for you. Don't give up, Arno."

Where did we hear this, exactly? These two didn't even have a working relationship or friendship. James didn't give two shits about Arno until Arno asked him for help. Even for the stupid Capture-the-Flag thing, none of them cared remotely about each other. How am I supposed to react to this literal nobody?

Arno couldn’t stop fighting.

He was so loud.

He was so loud in defying everything.

And that's what makes him great. 

“Nothing in my life was ever normal either. But for a good while….” I brushed his hair back, and thumbed the tear collecting at the corner of his eye, “You made me feel human, again.”

Impossible.

Boo fucking hoo. Let me call the waaaaahbulance. 

You were never 'human'. This is some shitty hamfisted attempt to make the audience like you. Fuck right off. I ain't buying it even if you offered me Saudi gold.

“And….I don’t want that to go away.”

An unachievable dream.

 “I don’t….want you to go away.”

You’re a walking nightmare.

James’ chest slowed drastically.

I'm glad James, who was shot through what I presume to be his lung, is capable of holding this dialogue no problem. It's the 'Last Words Before Dying' cliché.

But I do agree Elysia is a walking nightmare. Thanks for the lampshading.

"I'm sorry...I can't hold your hand forever....I think it was bound to happen sooner or later. Guess it just chose today of all days..." he exhaled uneasily, swallowing roughly. His eyes flickered up to me, like I was some goddamn angel, like I was…. "....I hope you don't give up on the others then...I don't think I'd forgive myself if everything went to hell because everyone simply stopped caring..." His tears slid, and his life force struggled to remain existing. To keep him with me. "Please, Elysia...don't give up on them..."

I held him tighter. Just a tad.

“I’m sorry it wasn’t enough. I’m so fucking sorry,” I shook my head, and buried my face into his hair. It was so soft. It smelled like pine. Like the woods. “You are…the best out of all of us.”

 "Look man, don't give up on the others. Do it for me."

"No, I fucking won't, because I hate them and I care only about my shitty redemption arc."

The best out of me.

You're not great. Fuck off. 

“Elysia….” It was Beylier, approaching me, but dared not come closer. His eyes inspected James in my arms, and the impatience he had on earlier left no trace. His mouth opened, strained, “…..I’m so sorry.”

I am pleased her grief comes before the deaths of - oh, I don't know - the dozens of other recruits killed by Shay? Priorities. 

Stephen sat with polite confusion. Clement studied us, then fixated his cautious gaze onto Arno, and his injuried arm. His shoulders naturally tensed, slightly sitting upright.

"So what's this all about?" Stephen asked, settling his eyes on me alongside Clement. "Is everyone who needs to be here, here?"

“……” Say it. “…..James is dead. I’m sorry.”

The room stilled.

This is why this 'rewrite' of the Brotherhood is unintentionally funny in its run: none of these Assassins are even aware when one of their own is killed in the line of duty. They are kept deliberately ignorant.  

The three of us remained standing, Clement stone as Stephen lifted his hand, and covered his mouth. Eyes strained. The muffled tears of nearby Assassins collected around us, grieving and mourning of the collective loss.

"Has anyone told his family?" Stephen asked quietly, voice cracking. His eyes were looking away when I gave closer inspection. He couldn't look at James. Nor anyone else. His eyes were wet and fighting back.

“….His uncle is coming soon,” I informed. “Until then, no. No one knows.”

When your enter the Brotherhood, it's a general given your family never knows, unless they were born into the Brotherhood. It can't just be an exclusive club worn on a ring like the Freemasons - not until Altair drove them into secrecy. Regardless, why is James' death taking precedence over the rest? What happened to equality?

Clement's gaze tore from his friend to the others that laid beside. Clement exhaled shakily, looking away from the miserable scene, "And the others...were they all killed the same way? By Templars? By some murderer??"

“…..Possibly,” I answered lowly. Clement nodded, and said nothing more. I moved over, knelt, and gently fixed the lining of the hood to reveal James’ face in the soft light of the candles before standing back up. At this did Stephen snatch his arms around himself, and he trembled in place. Clement lowered his gaze. Both of their eyes wet, but how none of them didn’t dare lose composure.

...I don't even know what to say anymore. There is just no excuse for any Assassin not to know who Shay Cormac is. Now, in the context of Unity, Shay was never mentioned. This is a legitimate issue, but I like to interpret it as a way of keeping Arno safe; Bellec would've known Arno would've gone after him. 

In this case, though? Elysia had years to learn about him. She didn't. So her downplaying the threat and refusing to tell her team who killed James is entirely her fault. 

This chapter ends with meeting a 'Japanese looking' man named Dubois, which is not a Japanese name. Japan had only recently begun to open up relations with other nations by that period. It remained an isolated nation. Regardless, Shay now wonders what Elysia is, and will look into old records to find her mentioned in the Roman Brotherhood. But you can't kill a Mary Sue.

It's harder to kill a bad story. This chapter revolved around the death of James, an NPC I didn't care for. He was a random, about to become master and who was about to get married. Even though this story is almost 150,000 words - approx. 145,957 words - there has been very little character development. Half of the chapter involved pre-death dialogue, with Elysia saying that he 'made her feel human', even though she hasn't acted human since the beginning. It was a pathetic attempt to make me sympathize with her. 

Before, these geniuses thought it'd be a good idea to ignite barrels of gunpowder with them standing right next to it, inhaling toxic fumes no problem. Shay? He's not getting NERF'ed by that shit. He can breathe it in no problem. Arno also thought it was a good idea to throw a firework into said toxic cloud of smoke, because we have THREE people writing this story and not one of them could be bothered to look up how explosives work.

Elysia's monologues are, at this point, bothersome. She comes off as a crude yandere anime character who Les thinks is 'cute' to have her snap at others for any explicable reason. She tried to save James' life with magic crystals, even though it was obvious he was long gone. Les and her co-authors don't realize that kill shots through major organs don't lead you to make long winded conversations. You bleed out, gurgle, and died. Maybe lose consciousness before then. There is no blissful goodbye.

I am also expected to believe Elysia's pity is genuine, even when she didn't care for the deaths of other recruits by Shay. Since she doesn't even know who he is - and by that extension, neither do any of the recruits - how is she going to take him seriously as a threat? 

The Parisian Brotherhood continues to be a huge source of drama and idiocy. There is no way any of them would seriously send lower ranked recruit against Shay given his history. For someone who wants to rewrite and fix the plot, and has the Lore Down Pat, not a single author knows how dangerous Shay is. 

But who cares about logic? We get 10,000 words of exposition, the death of a random NPC, and Elysia trying to convince the audience and herself she's a good character. The Café members adore her, even when she was going to throw them out into the street. The Mentors love her, despite nearly killing her recruits for a lesson. Everyone cries and 'lets loose' around her, and this tough bitch melts at the thought of the dick.

1/4 of the way through. To think I'm waiting for Arno to be sodomized to pique my interest.